


Alone In The Dark

by CaseyBarson12



Category: NCIS
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Child Loss, Depression, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Family Loss, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Jethro Gibbs, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Marine Corps, POV Jethro Gibbs, Papa Bear Jethro Gibbs, Parent-Child Relationship, Parental Jethro Gibbs, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27721097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaseyBarson12/pseuds/CaseyBarson12
Summary: 'You think you're alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ His mother had often told Jethro Gibbs that piece of advice when he was growing up, but when you’ve just lost your wife and young daughter, it’s much easier said than done.
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs & Kelly Gibbs, Jethro Gibbs/Shannon Gibbs
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Alone In The Dark

Walking into what had been his family's home in D.C for the first time since he'd gotten the news about his wife and daughter immediately took Jethro's breath away. He felt like he couldn't breath and he was barely holding it together. He tried to push the pain aside and started walking into the now much too quiet house, each step into what used to be a home feeling like a knife to his heart.

_"We've said it all before," he said gently._

_"I wanna hear it again," Shannon said, her blue eyes pleading._

_He nodded, needing it almost as much as she did. Leaving for work was hard. "I will take care. I will come back safe."_

_"Not those words," his wife told him with a small, watery, smile._

_"I love you," he said without hesitation, pulling Shannon in for one last kiss goodbye_ _before he had to leave._

It was supposed to be him who went first. He was the Marine. He expected to be the one to go, he'd accepted it years ago given what he did for a living. It wasn't supposed to be them. Never his girls. When he shipped out several months ago, he never expected that his family wouldn't be there when he returned. That he'd be coming back to an empty home.

_"Gunny, they're both dead. l'm terribly sorry, Jethro."_

He'd desperately hoped it was some kind of sick joke when they'd told him about the crash. He'd known it wasn't, though. Still, he wished it was.

Never again was Shannon going to sit and chat with him on the couch way past bedtime while they giggled and laughed, trying to not wake their daughter up.

Never again was Kelly going to run up and hug him and say, "I missed you, Daddy."

Kelly, his baby girl... his princess... She'd only been eight. She's been innocent in this entire mess. She'd deserved so much better than she'd got.

Why hadn't he stopped Shannon from testifying?

Why hadn't he taken emergency leave and stayed to protect his girls?

He knew his mother-in-law Joann blamed him. She wasn't wrong to though; he should have been there and protected them. And Kelly... Kelly had begged him not to go.

He shook his head, fighting against the sob that wanted to escape.

 _'You think you're alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good._ ' His mother had often shared that little piece of advice with him while he was growing up - before she'd past, that is. Unfortunately, when you'd just lost your wife and eight-year-old daughter, that was much easier said than done.

It still felt like he couldn't breath.

God, he wished his mom was there. She was the only one of his parents who really understood him. Hell, he and his father were definitely not on speaking terms right now. Jethro was still fuming from what his father had done at the funeral.

Not bothering to take his shoes off, he tossed his pack on the floor and forced himself to head towards the kitchen for a glass of water. It had been a long flight back from Kuwait in more ways than one.

Desert Storm had been the worst. His tours of duty in Panama and Bosnia hadn't been picnics, but his time in the Persian Gulf had been absolutely brutal. His mind immediately went to his company XO, Lieutenant Cameron, dying in his arms after the older man tried to save Jethro's life.

He didn't really want the water. What he wanted was to go and crack open the bourbon he had in the basement, but he'd settle for the water at the moment.

He swallowed the cool liquid and put the empty glass down on the counter. His attention was then pulled to Kelly's pink bike and strawberry shortcake helmet laying there on the grass in the middle of the back yard.

He and Shannon had gotten her the bike as a gift for her last birthday. She was a bit of a tomboy, but she loved strawberry shortcake. She loved riding her bike around the neighbourhood and being outdoors in general.

He refused to look away, even as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down. His dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears; his hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief.

As much as he tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from his throat in the form of a silent scream. A lone tear traced down his cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened.

The little beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. He wept, tears streaming from his deep blue eyes, loud, heaving sobs tearing from his throat.

He hit the wall and tried to scream, but his voice was melted by the sound of the place. The muffled sobs wracked against his chest.

His eyes were burning and his chest felt heavy as if it were filled with lead. He could no longer see clearly. All he knew was that his girls were gone. In less than a minute his entire world had been violently taken from him. He'd lost everything.


End file.
